JSConfAsia2018: Shy Girl’s First Conference

What a way to start off the year, on a new country with people I never travelled with, to meet other people that are the same kind of nerd as me (probably much better nerds).

For a few months I’ve been getting anxiety about how I could make friends during this event, knowing that I am shy, knowing that my team lead is also shy.

And now that it’s over, let me share with you how the shy girl in me socialized

It’s not everyday that we find people like us

I’ve always portrayed myself as your typical vain girl in social media. That girl who goes broke for shopping and make up. That girl with the dog Snapchat filter. That girl who wants nothing but nice photos, even on normal days.

Yep, I’m that girl.

But I am also more than that.

"So what does a front end developer do?" I don’t know about you but this question give me panic attacks because I have no idea how to explain it accurately in 1 to 3 sentences where they won’t end up nodding their heads without get any of it.

One of the best part about the event was meeting people who understands my work. That was quite hard here at home, even those who have the same job description as I do, those who went to the same University as I did, we’d just find out how our work doesn't really align.

So take this opportunity to socialize with people like you who are probably shy too because we won’t get to everyday. I hope it’s enough reason to go out of your comfort zone, just like I did.

Let me begin with a boring "tips" about socializing

• ask questions too, it’s not just about you
• ask silly questions, that’s how they remember you
• listen, like really listen
• print out business cards
• look approachable AKA don’t use your phone too much because it shows you don’t want to meet new people
• It’s okay if your english is not perfect

There are different ways to make friends

Here’s how we met most of the people we did

• Pinoys will get your attention if they hear you speak tagalog
• People we shared a table with during lunch
• People we seat next to during events/talks/workshops

So I guess even if we’re the shy people we are, there’s no escape but to meet these new people we can now call friends.

One moment we are strangers, the next we’re talking about what we do, how was our flights, what is it like in our country.

Things we could talk about

I didn’t know if I should add this to my blog post but then I realized my goal for this one was to help other shy girls (or boys) too

So here’s one more list about things we mostly talked about, may it be a 5 minute chitchat or during a 30 minute walk looking for cheap restaurants, that I hope you can use too when you can’t find topics to talk about

• How long was our flight
• Where we live
• What is it like in our country
• Where are we staying
• What technologies we use
• Have we tried this "technology"
•  What do we think of "technology"
• What company we work for
•  What products/services does our company provide
•  Was it our first time in this yearly event

And in the end…

It will all just come naturally, socializing.

Even my team lead, who I don’t talk to for weeks, who also happens to seat just next to me (before it became just the two of us on our team), is the one initiating topics, talking about his own opinions, making new friends. Just wow.

Here’s to pushing myself more next time!

I know I met a lot of people but I also know I could’ve done better. I’ve noticed instances where my shyness still pulled me back a few times during the event.

So here’s my goals for my next conference:

• Take initiative to talk to some speakers after their talk (or when I pass them by anywhere else)
• Meet more people from other countries
• Volunteer for games, be more active